


gold through cracks

by parisianwalkways (akaeijis)



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Falling In Love, Kind of a character study, M/M, five things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 23:56:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13728714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akaeijis/pseuds/parisianwalkways
Summary: The moment Shoma first steps on ice, he sees himself reaching for Yuzuru’s back.(He calls it image training.)





	gold through cracks

i. _‘this might come off sounding a bit rude, but the olympic stage isn’t my ultimate goal’_

It used to be. Every athlete’s initial goal is to be the best, to get on the podium, to reach the Olympics. The Olympic stage was where the winners of the world were crowned. Shoma was just like every other athlete, he wanted to be on the Olympic stage. That was his goal. Used to be.

That’s before Yuzuru Hanyu came into the picture.

There’s something otherworldly, something ethereal about his presence on ice. Instead of skating, it’s more like watching the stars falling or the sun setting or the northern lights dance. And Shoma’s never even seen the northern lights. Every few minutes Yuzuru skate - the world stops and suddenly everything makes sense.

Everything Shoma was searching and reaching for was right in front of him.

He’s greater than the Olympics - the Olympics are here on Earth, the ice rink grounded. But Yuzuru, who dances with the stars and ice, is higher, much greater.

Shoma found something greater to achieve than the Olympics.

 

 

ii. ‘ _yuzuru isn’t a wall for me, he is more of my goal. i’ve been practicing with him as my ultimate goal, and i will be, even from now own, practicing with him as my ultimate goal’_

 

So yeah, his goals changed. There’s something better, much higher.

People always ask him how he feels about being in Yuzuru’s shadow, not nearly as praised despite being Japan’s second best, despite his impressive world records, despite his beautiful, clean skating. He replies the way he always does: he likes it. He doesn’t like the pressure, he likes being able to skate with less expectations and eyes on him, and Yuzuru deserves the score anyway, so whatever.

There is no wall, just him, the ice, and Yuzuru. He tries grabbing but Yuzuru is always one step, one second, one breath of air ahead.

It’s not a mountain, there’s no climb. He just needs to skate a bit faster, a bit harder, a bit better.

The moment he first steps on ice, he sees himself reaching behind Yuzuru’s back.

(He calls it image training.)

 

 

iii. _‘he will be my eternal goal, the eternal idol for me’_

 

There are truly no other words he can use to describe how he feels about Yuzuru. He’s said it countless times over and over again, without shame, that Yuzuru is the one he looks up to. Yuzuru can deny it all he wants, but it’s engraved on the ground and stars that he’ll be remembered throughout history.

There’s truly no other person that’s reached Yuzuru’s level and Shoma isn’t talking about the figure skating world. And Shoma doesn’t think there will be another person that will ever.

Nothing else has inspired every part of Shoma’s soul, of Shoma’s heart like Yuzuru has.

 

 

_iv.‘i wish to chase him forever’_

 

Shoma’s won medals before, he’s topped the highest competitions, he knows what he’s accomplished. They don’t mean anything. Not until he reaches Yuzuru. He wants to reach Yuzuru while they both skate their best. He wants Yuzuru to look at him, to see him.

When he thinks about the future, all he can think about is winning against Yuzuru. Other competitions are just stepping stones. All he sees is a journey toward Yuzuru.

But he doesn’t think about what will happen when (not if) he does. His mind blanks.

Of course, he wants to win, it’s been his goal for years. But in some weird, twisted way - he likes this. He likes chasing behind Yuzuru, practicing and practicing just to raise the stakes up higher for the next season, where it’s just him and Yuzuru. An eternity of both of them competing, becoming better, that’s what Shoma wants.

That’s not how the world works, however. Skaters retire, newer skaters come and change the game. That itself is exciting, of course, but Shoma doesn’t know a world without chasing after Yuzuru.

He thinks back to what Yuzuru said to Javier (he read in a translated interview), how Yuzuru couldn’t do this without him.

Shoma understands that sentiment because he isn’t sure he can do this without Yuzuru.

 

 

_v.‘oh’_

 

In the middle of a flight back to Japan, thanks to wifi and insomnia, is where and when Shoma realizes.

He reads the interviews and articles published, newer ones from last night and older ones a few months or years ago. He didn’t know what else to do and the press gives him something to focus on. That’s when it happens. It’s a shell-shocking bomb, the light from his cell phone screen is a bit too bright, the world is round, sky is blue, and he’s in love with Yuzuru Hanyu.

“Oh.” Shoma mutters, putting his phone down and resting his forehead on the cool walls of the plane.

**Author's Note:**

> all the quotes (except the last) are all from interviews. shoma uno waxes poetry. his words are just so pretty i cant believe he actually said them. his words made me cry. how. his words in interviews are more beautiful than anything i could write. how is he so poetic
> 
> this was done rly quick so i apologize that there's basically no plot in this work? i jsut wanted to contribute rly badly to yuzusho , bc im Dying. but im thinking of writing more so uhh
> 
> hmu [@akaeijis](https://twitter.com/akaeijis) on twitter


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